Need a new hobby?

Today I sent a question to my PT. I asked him how long it must be between cardio workout and workout with weights. He hasn't replied yet but I suppose I will get the answer on my next session.

I asked this because I have a lot of time during the weekends so I was thinking perhaps I could workout twice a day. Perhaps go out jogging in the morning and do some weights in the afternoon. Hmmm... Life is not just about training is it? It feels like I am trying to flee from life, that I am hiding at the gym. Perhaps it's time to get a life, find some more friends and perhaps create a new hobby?

I don't know what that would be though... Perhaps I should study something? Start to play the guitar? I don't want to make my choices out of fear, so I should challange myself and do what I am most afraid of. I just don't really know what that is yet.

Any suggestions are welcome...

Stomach ache

Yesterday I couldn't help to try feta cheese and that I regret after wards. Got horrible stomach ache! Thought it would be ok since it's sheep's and goat's milk but obviously not...

Today I also got stomach ache. Don't know why though... A bit irritating! Perhaps it can be because I have had dinner quite late the last week. Need to cook food in before hand. Don't like late dinners. Shouldn't have them either accordning to my PT, so...

Had dinner with Edith, Antonio and Susie today. Edith made Fajhitas and it was delicious! The only thing I shouldn't eat is the bread, the rest is just chicken and vegetables and guacamole and that is healthy food. We had a really nice time! I was hoping to go out dancing, but as usual everyone was tired so I went home to my bed instead...

Start jogging

I will start jogging now... Feels great that I have improved that much and have so much more strength! Am really looking forward to go jogging! I think I will go up 30 min earlier every day and start my morning by jogging round the block. Then I will do my usual training at the gym in the evening.

This is great! Now I just need some inspiration concerning my food, but my PT will give me some recepies. He said something about going shopping and that he was going to show me where to get the stuff. Did I hear it right? Are we going shopping together? Perhaps I misunderstood... Well, never mind. If I get some recepies it's great and if we are going shopping together - that is fantastic! I'll just wait and see...

Not an ordinary woman

Am a bit happier today. The depression from this weekend is gone and I feel like dancing again!

I had another lovely session with my PT. We worked a lot with my arms today... I can just imagine myself in a linnen this summer - being proud of my arms... I know I am silly, but I can't help it. I think I have always been this silly... I want to look strong and I don't care that guys get intimidated by women with muscles! I have devoted myself to celibacy anyway so it doesn't matter what guys think of me. If I keep going on like this people might think I am lesbian... I am at the right place for that anyway (Brighton)!

Riding my bike, hanging out with the cool guys who ride their bikes on racetracks, am training hard and get toned muscles... That does not sound as an ordinary woman, does it? But, that is true - I am not an ordinary woman and I am NOT lesbian! ;)

Hairspray

I have just watched Hairspray with John Travolta. Wonderful movie! So much nice music that I wanted to dance to! :) It made me feel a bit better too. The character is quite fat and the story is about her dream of being a part of a dancegroup on television. People says she is not suited for it because she is short and fat and have a different appearance than the other girls. Still she succeeds, because she is a great dancer.

I love movies like that! Ok, even I react over her obesity, but still I notice the spark in her eyes, her lovely smile and I think this is a great person who shouldn't be judged from her appearance.
Still I am counting on others to judge me from my appearance and I belive they think I am not good enough...

Where did my confidence go?

Now I would like to go out dancing, after watching this movie, but do I really bother to go out? Drunk people, guys trying to get laid... I just want to dance on my own, not to get disturbed by anybody!

What's realistic?

Ok, yesterday I checked my meassurements with my PT.

Weightloss: Think it's about -6kg during 2 months
Waist: -4 cm (but according to my own meassurements I have lost about 7 cm on my waist)
Hips: a few centimetres
Butt: -6 cm
Thighs: -2 cm
Arms: -4 cm

My arms is the only thing that impress me. Otherwise I just feel a bit disappointed. I know I can't expect miracles and I will still be me, but... I can never become someone else by tranining and loosing weight, so I suppose I need to accept myself. It's just that I hate my hips, thighs... Right now I can't stand to see myself in a mirror. I just feel so fat!

I know I need to be patient! But even when I have lost a lot of weight - I will still have my bodyshape. I still need to accept who I am. I have said before that I start to love myself, that I feel so good and so on. Well, today I hate myself.

Ok, I feel sorry for myself, I am wining and am totally hopeless, but tomorrow everything will be much better - at least I hope so...

-10,4

Ok, I had some help this weekend... I was sick and lost 3,7kg in one week, so now I have lost 10,4 kg. But, I am afraid I will gain some again, now when I start to drink water and eat again. Well, at least I know the reason to it!

Today I will check weight and measurements with my PT. I am really excited!

Bicycle

On Saturday I bought a bike. I was supposed to pic it up yesterday, but I got food poisoned... :( Today I was able to keep the water and food I had, so I went to the shop to pic it up. It's not a beauty, but hopefully it is good enough to go on excursions with. I haven't really tried it, will do that tomorrow or another day. The only thing is that the brakes are shrieking and I don't like that. Even if it was a fairly cheap bike, it should have good brakes. Perhaps I can fix it...

As you can see it's a white/greyish bike with some pink on it... But since I don't know how long I will stay here, I didn't want to buy a very expensive bike. Just as long it's working I am happy.

Now I have a bike, then we'll see if I dare to use it. I still need to remember it's busy left hand trafic...

Well, I will go on a pic nic this weekend. Perhaps go to Devil's Dyke that I've heard so much about. Now I am able to experience more, because I can reach a greater distance with a bike.

Booked flight to Sweden

It feels like I am going home too often... I will go home the 2nd of May, to work for SMC a couple of days. It will be fun - I hope! Perhaps too much history involved, but I will manage.

It's 4,5 weeks till I go. What can I achive until then? It would be nice if my parents and friends will see the difference.

One thing I wonder about is how long it will take to reach my target. What targets do I have? I don't really know, do I? I suppose my PT will tell me when I shouldn't loose more weight... I will never finish, I will just continue... When I reached my target to loose weight I just get another target to get more fit and so on. As my PT said today, new challanges is a good thing!

Perhaps I should work even harder before I go home?!