I am looking forward to Christmas. I don't even think of the appointment I have, even though that can make a difference in my life, but why worry?!
Some friends are coming over for dinner. I will have my Christmas dinner after all! I love having friends over for dinner! I will bake "lussebullar", maybe "kladdkaka" and some other stuff. We went to Ikea a few weeks ago and there we bought pepparkakor, glögg, sill, julmust mm. This will be a real Swedish Christmas.
The funny thing is that a guy from Sweden will come here too. His father lives in London so he will go till his father first, and then he will come down to Brighton and celebrate Christmas with us. His cousin might come too. The more the merrier!
Boxing Day (Annandag jul) Malin and I are going to Nahla, to have dinner with her and her two grown up kids. That will be really nice.
The only thing I miss is the Christmas Tree... We don't have room for it! Our kitchen is too crowded and we don't have a living room. Maybe a small one to put on the table?!
Friday 19 December 2008
Wednesday 17 December 2008
Worse than me...
There are people having a hard time - who are fare worse than I am! I'm not bothered. If I have cancer, so what? I will do the course anyway, I will embrace life.
I just read Ulla-Brittas blogg, haven't done that for a while, and I realise that she is having a really hard time. I definately need to go to Gotland soon! Visit her, visit Isa, visit everyone I love there...
One week left to Christmas... I wish for a good Christmas Holiday! (Please hear my pray!)
I just read Ulla-Brittas blogg, haven't done that for a while, and I realise that she is having a really hard time. I definately need to go to Gotland soon! Visit her, visit Isa, visit everyone I love there...
One week left to Christmas... I wish for a good Christmas Holiday! (Please hear my pray!)
Sunday 7 December 2008
Breastcancer?
Well... I found a lump. It all started when my mother told me she had one and was going for some tests. Fortunately she is okey since it was just a cyst with liquid so they just emptied it. When she told me she had a lump I checked my breasts thoroughly (I usually check them) and I noticed something that hasn't been there before. I had a lump!!
I went to Sweden so it took me a couple of weeks to get to the doctor to check it. He confirmed that I do have a lump and I felt like crying afterwards since I knew I didn't imagine it.
I had an appointment at the breast clinic, but since I was due to have my period my breasts was too swollen so they couldn't do anything. They gave me a new appointment in two weeks time.
When I came there the 2nd time they were an hour late, and after the scan with ultrasound they told me they didn't have time for biopsi so I had to come back later! 2 days later I came back for the biopsi. I've heard some stories about it, so I must admit I was nervous and felt really uncomfortable. I got anastetic so I didn't feel a thing, but I really hope I don't have to do it again. Now I just have to wait till 24 december for the results. Christmas Eve!!! I just wish for a good christmas present then...
The thing is that the first doctor had a student with him and he explained a lot to her, which made me hear a lot more than I usually should have... So, on a scale from 1-5 where 5 is cancer and 1 is totally fine, I'm now graded as a 4.
The worst part is done - the biopsi. Now I will just have to wait, and I must say that my brain is great because I don't even remember this. I will not think about it at all. I can't do anything about it, just wait for the results, so why bother?! It doesn't make a difference anyway! The results will be the same with or without worrying...
Fingers crossed!
I went to Sweden so it took me a couple of weeks to get to the doctor to check it. He confirmed that I do have a lump and I felt like crying afterwards since I knew I didn't imagine it.
I had an appointment at the breast clinic, but since I was due to have my period my breasts was too swollen so they couldn't do anything. They gave me a new appointment in two weeks time.
When I came there the 2nd time they were an hour late, and after the scan with ultrasound they told me they didn't have time for biopsi so I had to come back later! 2 days later I came back for the biopsi. I've heard some stories about it, so I must admit I was nervous and felt really uncomfortable. I got anastetic so I didn't feel a thing, but I really hope I don't have to do it again. Now I just have to wait till 24 december for the results. Christmas Eve!!! I just wish for a good christmas present then...
The thing is that the first doctor had a student with him and he explained a lot to her, which made me hear a lot more than I usually should have... So, on a scale from 1-5 where 5 is cancer and 1 is totally fine, I'm now graded as a 4.
The worst part is done - the biopsi. Now I will just have to wait, and I must say that my brain is great because I don't even remember this. I will not think about it at all. I can't do anything about it, just wait for the results, so why bother?! It doesn't make a difference anyway! The results will be the same with or without worrying...
Fingers crossed!
I'm going back to Sweden
So... I made up my mind - I decided to go back to Sweden. I realised that I will have regrets if I don't try this. I want to change my life and do something different and this is my chance.
I really like my job and I actually like it even more now when we are really busy and need to work overtime. Not because of the money, but just because I like to feel needed and we have such a good teamwork. I love my colleagues! They are just great!
I will really miss Brighton, but for the moment it feels like I'm coming back - this is not definately. I'm going back to Sweden to get an education so I can earn some good money later. Then I can have the life I wish for in England. I will sort my things in Sweden and then we'll see. One thing leeds to another!
On the 11th January I will leave England to reach for my new future. A lot have happened in my life lately. Last year I moved to England, which changed my life forever. Now I'm making a big change again. It's a bit scary, but I know in my heart that I'm doing the right thing. I will follow my dream.
I really like my job and I actually like it even more now when we are really busy and need to work overtime. Not because of the money, but just because I like to feel needed and we have such a good teamwork. I love my colleagues! They are just great!
I will really miss Brighton, but for the moment it feels like I'm coming back - this is not definately. I'm going back to Sweden to get an education so I can earn some good money later. Then I can have the life I wish for in England. I will sort my things in Sweden and then we'll see. One thing leeds to another!
On the 11th January I will leave England to reach for my new future. A lot have happened in my life lately. Last year I moved to England, which changed my life forever. Now I'm making a big change again. It's a bit scary, but I know in my heart that I'm doing the right thing. I will follow my dream.
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